This oatmeal is for you . . .

Sometimes when you're doing things for the first time, like parenting, you've got a plethora of places to obtain information.  And usually all fo that information says something different.  You have your parents, doctors, friends, internet articles that will give you information, but which one do you trust?  I'm here to tell you Butterbutt sometimes you've just gotta go with your instincts.

Take for instance the notion of feeding your child solids.  In this day and age the new age doctors don't suggest that a baby start eating solids until 6 months of age, my mother suggested it when you were only 3 months, my best friend said 4 months, my doctor said anytime I like, and the manager of this apartment complex pretty much insisted you have solids the day you were born.  So with all of these suggestions how am I, or anyone supposed to KNOW when you should give your baby solids?

This morning you threw a fit because I wouldn't give you any of my ice cream (yes I ate ice cream for breakfast.)  That was my clue.  

So today young Butterbutt, you got your first lunch of solids.  Some oatmeal with a little butternut squash mixed in.  You were incredibly cute, and yet I believe confused.  You'd take a bite and give me this look of disgust and yet you'd grab the spoon so you could feed yourself.  You literally inhaled your food.  No really you did, I had to suction your nose out because you pushed some of it up your nose.  

Congratulations Butterbutt!  This oatmeal is for you!

Puking in the work garbage can . . .

It went just like this, find out I'm pregnant, deal with major shock for two days and then BAM, I was hit with morning sickness.  I don't know why it's called morning sickness when I had it ALL DAY!  

I could never eat red meat, on rare occasions I could eat chicken.  I would crave some things and the same things would make me want to vomit.  I tried plenty of things to keep me from getting sick.  Auntie A brought me ginger pills and morning sickness elixirs.  I searched for items called preggie pops and reviewed home remedies on google.  One thing that saved your Auntie A during her pregnancy was mixing chocolate milk with Vernors.  This did work but only momentarily, eventually the cure-all make me start to feel ill.

Your father and I were supposed to drive up to Oscoda for a family reunion one Sunday afternoon.  I had not told any of the family that we were expecting you and was suffering from major morning sickness, I didn't want my symptoms to let our secret out.  Your father convinced me to inform you grandmother that he was feeling ill and we were not going to make it.  Instead your father and I went to visit is old school, home of the Wolverines.  I had no clue how I was going to walk around feeling the way I did.  

We stopped at the pharmacy to grab a prescription for your father.  While waiting for him I decided to seek out an item that had been suggested on one of my many google searches.  I was unsure if these things were going to work but I had already spent a small fortune on items to cure my morning sickness, anything was worth a try.

So I bought these items, ripped them from their packaging, and slipped them over my wrists.  Sea-bands, brought me back to the world of the living.  The stormy seas that had been thrashing about in my stomach had quickly been calmed.  I still had minor residual effects of morning sickness such as being achy and fatigue, but eventually when we hit 11 week gestation, morning sickness disappeared.

Weebles wobble, but you don't fall down . . .

So today we were playing around on my vanity.  You were looking in the mirror marveling at the cute baby, and extra mommy who looked so much like your own.  Your usually method of rest is standing, and has been for months.  You like to stand up more than sit, or lay down.  

Well today I thought I'd just sit you down and see how well you could do.  Let me tell you baby!  YOU SAT STILL FOR OVER 30 SECONDS!!!!!  With no help, just sat there.   You didn't fall down.  Way to go sugarplum momma is super proud of you!!!!

This poops for you . . .

I realize that this deviates from the story but I created this blog to journal all of your accomplishments and milestones.  Well today was a major one.

There you were playing in your exersaucer, bouncing around, showing mommy how the monkey spins.  I heard the familiar grunt that signified that you were, in fact, pooping.  I got all excited because dad's home and usually dad misses all of the poopy diapers, and I end up cleaning them all.  I decided to wait to retrieve you until after your dad had taken his nap, so he could change your dirty butt.  

Well he woke up and you started to get extremely agitated, so being the wonderful mother I am, I picked you up.  I recognized the smell immediately, but didn't anticipate the gooey, warm feeling on my arm.  OH MY GOD!  Your poop was smeared all over my arm!  

Yes my child you got me, you got your exersaucer seat, and some even plopped on to the base.  My child you have just had your first FULL SCALE blowout.  

P.S. Your dad still changed your poopy diaper, so I guess getting pooped on was worth something!

Finding out . . .

So I woke up that morning and went to Starbucks.  The world doesn't spin without a latte!  After a discussion the previous night, your father and I agreed that I should go buy a pregnancy test just to see.  So I stopped at the pharmacy on my way back and bought a two-fer, super cheap.  I of course, thought your father was being insane. I knew I wasn't pregnant!

 So I drank my latte, and got ready for work.  I went to the bathroom and took the test with me.  I peed on the stick, put it on the counter, washed my hands and looked down two seconds later.  TWO LINES!!  What the FRICK!

 So I grabbed my phone and called your dad at work.  He didn't answer so I left him a message, "call me as soon as you get this!"  And then I proceeded to call Auntie A :

 Me:  I just took a pregnancy test, it's positive.

A:        What? What?  Why are you taking a pregnancy test alone?

Me: I didn't think it would be positive, I can't be pregnant there's no way it's a false positive.

A:        Why can't you be pregnant?  Aren't you having sex?

Me:     Yes, I am, just in the safe way, besides I've been cramping like crazy!

A:        Oh I think you’re pregnant and for real.

Me:  Oh, he’s on the other line let me call you back.

A:        Ok call back soon!

Me:     Hunny?

Dad: Hi sweetie, what do you need?

Me:  It's positive the test is positive.

Dad: What?

Me:       I took a pregnancy test it came up positive!

Dad: Ok, ummm ok, well, hunny I gotta get back to work but don't worry everything is going to be just fine ok!

 Now don't get me wrong Butterbutt, we were shocked!  You were, as many children are, unexpected, but loved as well.  When I saw your dad that night, I knew everything would work out.  And even though we weren't married (get over it neither were my parents when I was conceived,) and we weren't living together, I knew that eventually things would blend together and everything would work out, because I love your daddy and he loves me.  As always you're a blessing Butterbutt!

The week before we knew . . .

Dad and I were planning a trip down to Sandusky to go to Cedar Pointe.  My dad had bought us tickets and paid for our hotel room.  Your grandpa really liked your dad, I'm sure both your grandparents knew we were destined to get married.  I digress.  We drove down to Sandusky and the whole way there it rained.  It rained and rained and rained.  And not just sprinkling but full on downpour!  We had planned a whole weekend of Cedar Pointe so we decided to wait and see if the rain let up.  Well it didn't every time we drove toward the park it rained.

 What we did instead was visit your great-grandmother and shopped.  We ate out and drank like fishies and smoked lots of cigarettes (yes I wasn't always a saint my child) and we swam in the pool and sat in the hot tub (yes one day you'll read this and wonder if we were purposely trying to destroy you.)  I remember consuming an outrageous amount of food that weekend.  It really surprised both me and your father.  See I used to eat only once a day, really fast and the likes.  But that weekend, I ate a full sausage, biscuits and gravy breakfast with ham and hash browns at Cracker-Barrel and then went to Bob Evans with your great grandmother and had a soup and salad, less than an hour later.  I mean I was licking plates!  As a side note your Great-grandmother H loves cornmush!

 So what's coming next is going to freak you out a bit but eventually you may appreciate it!

 Well I'm a very to the tee kind of person, I've rarely been "late."  So I was a week late, and I knew something was wrong.  So the night before we found out your dad and I scoured the internet trying to find out what was wrong with me.  The conversation went like this:

 Dad: maybe you're pregnant.

Me:  I'm cramping there's no way I'm pregnant!

Dad: are you eating a lot? 

Me: I practically inhaled food last weekend

Dad: are you peeing a lot?

Me: yes

Dad: do your boobs hurt?

Me: a little

Dad: is your period late?

Me: very funny

Dad: you’re pregnant

Me:  I am not!  Maybe you gave me a STD

 

Needless to say the next day would provide me with the biggest, best surprise I've ever gotten in my WHOLE entire life!